to go home...

sometimes i think about what it will be like to go back to the states. right now i think that the people will seem very big. tall and wide.

i think it will seem very clean and open - particularly clean in houston and open in nebraska. and green. i'm excited for the greenness of lincoln. ooh, and blue skies.

i expect to experience sensory overload. which is kind of strange because there is so much going on everywhere you look here, it's constant sensory overload. but in a different way. here it is traffic and tons of people and lots of flashy lights that say things i can't read. at home i think it will be overwhelming to suddenly be able to read everything and understand everything everyone is saying. especially since i tend to read anything i can see and i've gotten very used to blocking out conversations here, since there is zero chance they will make any sense to me. maybe it will be more auditory overload. and to have tv and movies that default to english. summation: it will be weird to have english everywhere.

i wonder if blond and black people will shock me a little. especially black people. i've seen all of about 5 since i got here.

i think it might be confusing not to see asian people everywhere. i actually feel like that might be a little stressful at first.

i may experience attention withdrawal when i suddenly blend in eveywhere. and don't have 9 5-year-olds watching my every move.

in some ways i will be glad for traffic laws but i think i will also resent them in certain situations.

really, i'm just trying to prepare myself for a transition that will be more jarring than one would expect.