Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Reflections on a Year of Sustainable Steps - The Struggles Edition

So, over the past couple years I have made a lot of notable lifestyle changes and, frankly, I'm pretty proud of them. I've worked really hard to dramatically reduce my environmental footprint, and it's made a huge difference. But, I still create trash. Even after almost 2 years on the path to zero waste, I'm not "perfect." And I'm not sure I ever will be, which, honestly, is not really what I expected when I started this whole process. 

I really thought that by  now I would be doing all the things, living this trash-free life. But the thing about zero waste is that (at least in the US) we live in a disposable culture. We've made it so easy to create trash that anything else is swimming against the tide. And for me personally, it's not the only challenge I'm up against when it comes to buying stuff. I would also like to make extremely healthy choices for my body, save money and be able to acquire things relatively conveniently. Rarely do all of these values align.

So how do I prioritize? Do I buy the "misfits produce" at the store in order to help reduce food waste even though all of it comes prepackaged? I love this concept and want to encourage the store to offer more things like it. But I don't want to buy things unnecessarily wrapped in plastic.

And how do I buy cheese? Even at the farmers market it comes wrapped in unrecyclable plastic. The same thing goes for bread (though at least there I can reuse the plastic bag). And meat (unless I buy it from the meat counter, maybe, and then it's coming from a feedlot, probably, and I'm just not ok with that). Do I just live a life without bread and cheese? The horror.

Don't even get me started on all the produce that you literally can't buy at a grocery store unpackaged. (Grapes, cauliflower, mushrooms, carrots...look around next time, it's surprising.) Or that sometimes it is significantly cheaper to buy the prepackaged option.

What about the inconvenience of items I literally can't buy locally? A list of items that I have been unable to find, even in hippie health nut stores: compostable toothbrushes (Fresh Thyme carries them now), a compostable dish brush, a safety razor, blades for said safety razor, cloth panty liners/pads, sustainably made new bras, reusable Ziplock bags, metal food storage containers, a completely wooden drying rack. I can order all of these things online, which is great, except that I am solving one problem of waste at the expense of creating a different problem in the form of shipping packaging. I'm also spending a lot of time driving around to different stores to find items or waiting for them to arrive in the mail.

Then, of course, is the extra cost of buying more sustainable options. They are almost always more expensive. And yes, over the life of the item, it often makes sense, but sometimes it's hard to make that initial jump when so many cheap and convenient options are available. For me personally, I also sometimes struggle to "invest" in certain items because I know I tend to move often. Is it really worth investing in the perfect, most sustainable toilet bowl brush if I'm going to move in a couple years? Is it going to be worth the cost of moving that across the country? (But then, of course, replacing a plastic one every time is just creating that much more waste. You see how this cycle works...)

On top of that, have you ever tried to buy a toothbrush on Amazon? You would not believe how many options there are. Researching and wading through the options for any particular item can sometimes be incredibly stressful, overwhelming and time-consuming.

And, occasionally, I find I'm looking for items that just don't exist. I have yet to find a bra in a style and fit I actually like that is also made in a sustainable way. Even after spending many hours trying.

Sometimes I just want to be able to run to Target and get everything I need. Trying to buy things secondhand is great - it saves a lot of money and keeps from adding more new items to the waste stream. Unfortunately, it's really hard to just go out and get the exact thing I need when I need it. I end up going to several thrift stores or making a bunch of craigslist trips for individual items and there is no guarantee I'll actually be able to find what I need when I need it. At what point do I choose to value my time and just buy it new? (But then if I'm going to buy it new, I should at least buy the most sustainable new option, which leads me back to the Amazon rabbithole...)

All of that is to say that it's really really hard sometimes. I feel like I could prioritize for any one of these options. I could always buy the cheapest thing, or the healthiest, or the most convenient, or the most sustainable. But I can't have them all. And I don't always know how to balance all of these competing values. Of course, I could also just not buy anything, and I do try to be fairly minimal, but I can't realistically live a life devoid of all possessions, which means these choices are going to come up from time to time. I'm not sure there is a best way that will work in every situation. Something will always have to give and it won't always be the same something.

I find this incredibly frustrating. I want to have it all. I want society to work in such a way that it's easy for me to have it all. I have learned to accept that we are not there yet, though I am seeing progress, even over just a couple years. I am happy to find that there are more and more zero waste products available with more and more people interested in them. I love that I have been able to contribute to the changing tide by inspiring the people around me to make even a few small changes.

I will probably never achieve a perfect zero waste lifestyle. I'm not sure that's a realistic goal for me, given the things I value. But I'm learning to be ok with that, even if I would prefer it to be otherwise. I'm learning to do the best I can to find a balance that is sustainable for me in the long term. I've found that the more I practice, the easier it gets, so I keep challenging myself with each choice to move closer to my ideal, and, for now, so long as there is growth, I can be ok with that.