Movement

Hello, friends, it's been awhile. Have you missed me? I'm sorry, I haven't had a lot to share. But I have excellent news for you. I just moved. Which means I'm learning and growing and exploring a new place. Which means I might have stories and ramblings to share. It's ok, you can get a little excited.

Roughly 3 weeks ago I packed up a car and a truck and amazing friends and set out for Washington, DC. Well, technically Arlington, but close enough. The whole process of this move has garnered a wide array of intense emotions for me. Much more so than in previous moves. My younger self was almost exclusively excited about a new city. The logistics were pretty straightforward and an adventure awaited at the other end. What else did I need to know?

Maybe I'm wiser now. Maybe I'm “more experienced.” Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe my fractured ankle played a part. In any case, this move was very very stressful. I get enough comments from the people around me to make it clear to me that I am doing a great job of continuing to project the confidence and anticipation of my youth. They tell me how scary or stressful or hard it would be for them to pick up and move far away and they are amazed that I just do it. And the thing is, it's scary and stressful and hard for me, too.

The unknown is always scary and moving halfway across the country or the world is a huge leap of faith. You have to trust that you won't hate the city, or your job, and that you'll be able to make friends and get what you need and find a new house and a doctor and a gym and figure out ALL THE THINGS. You can't know how it will work out and for me that uncertainty has been TERRIFYING and very very stressful. I do think that recovering from a fractured ankle has added a huge layer of complexity and anxiety for me this time, but it's always a bit scary.

However, I've done this enough times now to also know that it'll probably be fine. Things will work out, I'll get what I need, I'll figure it out. It takes time, and it never happens the way I expect it to, but it happens. And then I get to explore this new place and learn new things and grow a bit and it's worth it. And I think that's worth saying. I'm not immune to the hard parts. I recognize that there's a possibility that I'll hate it. That maybe it will be terrible and I'll want to leave in a year. But, that's ok. Even if that happens, I'll have grown as a person. I'll have experienced something new and learned something about myself and this place and the people that live here. And that, to me, is worth the risk. That's how I want to spend my life - growing and learning and exploring. Everything else is just details.